Starting Again
The first few months….. no wait, the whole of 2023 has gone and we are now in 2024.It has been a whirlwind of craziness. I have started and stopped and started again to write. but just could not finish and you will understand why later…. so to begin where I left off.
April 2023 I had to prepare all the paperwork for the renewal of my Permesso di Soggiorno, my mum also decided to head back to Australia and so there were logistical things to take care of and on top of that I had to actually start doing some paid work, since my visa for Italy is actually a work visa after all, not an Elective Residency Visa which all the retirees have. It has been the longest period in my entire life since I was 15 where I have not been gainfully employed , but while getting settled into a new country has taken time, Italy and all its delights is so tantalising that I almost semi-retired in a way and got into the flow of not working and swanning about the place having way too much fun, but this had to stop and after mum left I was determined to be focussed and get my self back into a working frame of mind.
After my ice cream dreams came to a sticky end when I was faced with the Kafka-esque realities of Italian bureaucracy, it was time to rethink what on earth I was going to do and so while working on some home-improvement projects my little entrepreneurial brain started working over time until I finally hit upon an idea, which is now, I am delighted to say actually starting to come to fruition. My new little business called Your Nest Lucca helps expats take care of their houses while they are away, as there are many expats living in Lucca who only live here part time so my services range from simple things like clearing their mail while they are away, checking up on their apartments, watering plants, organising maintenance if required, arranging cleaning services if required, through to co-hosting and managing their properties as short-term holiday rentals. This work has already caused me to meet some very interesting people and see some interesting places and led me to do some other work that I never would have imagined.
I made a little post on one of the Lucca Facebook groups, telling them about my misadventures trying to open a gelato business but how I had now decided to start Your Nest Lucca, and before I knew it I started getting enquiries, including one from a girl I had met in one of my Italian classes who turns out works for a real estate agent who looks after expat properties. They needed a small cleaning job done for a client, so as one does when one first starts out you do everything you need to to get things started and I did a small cleaning job which the client was so thrilled with that now the agency gives YNL regular gigs and I have some helpers now too. This job has led me to explore some nearby places including the town of Pistoia and has taken me up into the Brancoli’s steep hills just outside of Lucca where the road is so windy and narrow it would make your hair curl, but the views are absolutely breathtaking as everyone toots their horn as they go around the sharp and blindcorners. That job entails me having to stop at the teeny cute little village just before the house and hunt down a sweet old nonna who hangs on to the key for the “Americana” owner while she’s away. This lady’s garden is resplendent with potted lemon trees, oranges and is something out of a fairytale. The descent to her front door is so steep, and climbing back up to the road a workout in itself! It is fascinating to see the types of homes people have purchased and the locations of these homes, since some are very isolated, the perfect artist or writer retreats and I imagine the kind of people that have made these choices. Imagine coming all the way down the treacherously windy hill to do grocery shopping only to get home and realise you forgot something? You need to be supremely organised to live atop a hill!
I occasionally hop on the train to Pistoia about 45 minutes away to check on a house there, or meet a tradesman. The first time I went there I traversed the steep staircase, fumbled with the giant keys to the front door, to be met with yet another steep staircase to get to the apartment. I am always terrified. coming out of the bathroom in that place that I will tumble head first down the stairs (as the landing is literally the size of a small bathmat) only to be found months later. And so Your Nest Lucca is now keeping me busy and very fit as so far every single one of my clients either lives up a hill or on the top floor of an apartment building with no lift!
I have also been doing some work at a Villa nestled in the hills outside Lucca in Vorno. How I ended up working there is another madcap story in itself, but long story short, our local expat handyman Neil, teamed up with me as an added service of YNL. No financial arrangement, just a sharing of clients, and I got a message from the villa owner wanting one of the showers fixed and so I told Neil and he went. He came back and said the lady there was run off her feet. She holds weddings and events there and she looked like she really needed help. She kept calling me wanting to meet and so one day she picked me up in town and drove me to her villa .It is a dream, covered in ivy, beautiful flowers with a gorgeous chapel built by Nottolini a very famous architect who originally lived in the house and built the massive and stunning aqueduct near Lucca. I really was not sure why I was there, but she told me about some computer problems she was having and I took a look and proceeded to do some work for her finding important documents and sorting out the files left by the previous wedding coordinator who after years of suffering had left in a giant huff.
The following week, the next thing I knew I was being picked up by the side of the road somewhere in her small car that already had five people in it and had to sit on a complete strangers lap. I was introduced to her son, his fiancé, mother and sister-in law who were heading to another gorgeous villa which was where her son was getting married. A few days later while her son and fiancée were still in town Adriano and I were invited over for dinner and they insisted we bring Pandy. We picked up, some wine, and some flowers for our hostess and headed to the villa imagining ourselves at a cosy table for 8, only to find there were almost 50 people there who had flown in from all parts of the world for the weekend San Francisco, Paris, Berlin, London, Prague. We sat at a long take that seated all of us and it felt like we were dining at Buckingham Palace as the chandeliers and the posh accents twinkled and twittered away. The people were all really lovely, and after dinner we went to the nightclub in the basement and danced the night away to a live band. I think poor “A” as in a state of shock, as was I.
And that in a nutshell is how I accidentally started doing work at the villa. It is sporadic work. I help her with the wedding contracts, and other admin duties, but no two visits are ever the same and honestly I do need to take a few deep breaths in the car before I enter the building! She is nice, but her British socialite manners makes everyone who works with her feel like they are 12 years old and a complete idiot! I’ll be asked a question about something that has happened or needs doing that I know nothing about because I work there sporadically to be told that I should know about it and how could I not?!!
I’ve been asked to measure floors, get replacement knobs for the gas stove in the big kitchen. One time I had to go lie on some mattresses that had been pulled out of an attic or a cellar or somewhere that had lots of dirt, that were all laid out on floor of the gorgeous chapel, and she wanted me to tell her if they were comfortable and if she should use them for some of the guest bedrooms. Now first of all they looked terrible and I was not keen on lying on dirt and cobwebs and who knows what else. The caretaker who does basically everything along with his wife, from cleaning, making beds, pruning trees, maintaining the pool, cooking, registering guests and everything else strange you can possibly imagine, was waving at me standing behind the owner while she asked me whether she should keep them or not shaking his head wildly and wide-eyed, no no no! Well of course they need to be condemned, they are frightful so of course I wholeheartedly agree with him.
Another time I was in the office and she called me to tell me to put on one of the aprons and head to the kitchen.I am asking her what aprons and she says impatiently the ones in the box on the floor that we ordered, are you blind? Uhm I never ordered any aprons and had only just arrived so how could I possible know about them? Anyway I found them and headed to the kitchen wondering what on earth I would be doing now, and there were two chefs making food and some people sitting around a bench watching them. A good friend of hers and a very capable woman was making a video about the cooking classes she sometimes has there, so the next minute I knew I was acting in a commercial! Another time I arrived at work with the announcement “We’ve been hacked!!!!!!” hacked and I had to set about changing all the passwords, which mean’t trying to find the actual original passwords that were on various bits of paper somewhere under piles of rubbish as she got more and more impatient with me, asking why do we have so many different passwords and why can’t you find them and why is this taking so long???
Honestly I feel so sorry for the caretaker and his wife and can only imagine how crazy it must be working and living there full time. Every time I visit if we are alone he takes the opportunity to vent in his Portuguese-tinged Italian (which I am still not totally fully fluent in), about all the madness that goes on. Everyone who is in her orbit genuinely cares about her and her business and only wants to help. It is such a shame because she is actually a nice person. I honestly feel like I am in a real life version of Fawlty Towers except Basil Fawlty is a woman and the poor stressed out caretaker is Manuel! For Australians it is a bit like being in that improv show “Thank God You’re Here”!
Nevertheless, I also see it as an opportunity to practise patience, since I am clearly nowhere nearfully mastered it in my mind and need more opportunities to do so. Let’s just say it certainly keeps me on my toes and makes life interesting, and to be honest it is all rather funny to be in a real life black comedy sitcom. The caretakers’ little son is absolutely delightful and reminds me of the kid in the film Cinema Paradiso and always brightens my day, if I am there when he is not at school, as he shows me his Rubiks cube or hides behind things and tries to scare me and I always pretend to be completely shocked and about to faint, which makes him laugh, so there is always a silver lining somewhere.
In other work-related news, some of you may know that I was trained as an Holistic Therapist and had a massage practise for a number of years after I left working in the music industry, and so I am now also accidentally helping a massage therapist sometimes. I was chatting with a friend one day and mentioned how I desperately needed a massage and she recommended a British lady called Charlotte who came to my house and we chatted as she ironed out my knots. I mentioned I had trained in the UK as a massage therapist too and she said oh I desperately need help especially over the summer and would I help her? I protested and said it had been some time and I don’t have massage table anymore and I’m out of practise as she insisted oh you never forget, so I hesitantly said well… maybe, thinking I would never hear from her about it ever again.
A week later she called me saying there’s a group of 8 people staying at a villa somewhere from Austria and they all want a massage treatment and could I come and help her even just do two of them the next day? She sounded desperate so I said ok, what the heck and we arranged to meet on the side of the road so I could follow her in my car, along windy roads canopied by trees over hills and dales..and she was right you don’t forget. As soon as I started my first treatment, my hands knew exactly what to do, what to look for and I ended up doing three treatments and the clients were so happy and I have since helped her a few more times. A was not pleased to hear that we were massaging a Swedish cycling team one time at another gorgeous villa literally a stones thrown from where I live just five minutes drive away!! ;-)
And so it has been a crazy, but fun and interesting time. I did manage to go to Santorini in July for a few days and stay with my lovely friend CC who was visiting from Melbourne. Getting to Santorini I had to go all the way to Milan in the compete opposite direction to fly back down the length of Italy to go to Santorini the only direct flight of about 2 hours. Flying from nearby Pisa meant a stopover in Bari for 14 hours or getting to Santorini in the middle of the night so Milan was the way to go!! We had an amazing time, it is so beautiful and the people were so friendly. We had an absolute ball and so many giggles. We were convinced we were trapped in the Bermuda Triangle or something as we would head out to dinner and be there in under 15 minutes only to take over an hour or more to get back home as google maps took us down bumpy goat trails, down steep mountains, every time in the dark on our way back, no two journeys home were ever the same and we could never find the roads that took us out in the first place. It was so bizarre… but fun!!
I also went to Scotland and visited my friend Heather in the little town where I used to live called Troon. We had not seen each other for about 15 years but it felt like yesterday and we picked up where we left off, and had a great time chatting, visiting and shopping at the Charity shops and eating Indian food, a big highlight, as there is none in Lucca. No charity shops or Indian food. CC and Heather both also visited me in Lucca which was fabulous and “A” and I continued our little day trips here there and everywhere visited London just before Christmas. He had never been, and I was looking forward to, and did show him around loads of amazing places until…. (oh wait in September I forgot to mention I did my first solo concert in almost 20 years at a magnificent venue in Lucca. I rearranged a lot of my original songs, into electronica versions accompanied by acoustic guitar and had my friends Lidia and Nancy join me on violins after only 1 quick rehearsal a few hours before the show . It was a wonderful success and I hope to do more.
I am however very sad to say that the course of true love never did run smooth and despite the fact that “A”and I got on amazingly well, I was blissfully unaware that I was in a relationship with a textbook covert, gaslighting narcissist until one day he dropped the Prince Charming act and suddenly almost overnight turned into a raving nutcase, with completely erratic fits of rage that were absolutely terrifying, often times for the most stupid tiny things imaginable. At first I thought he was under some stress that I didn’t know about and so was forgiving and trying to be understanding. To be honest it was like being thrown into a washing machine, being tossed about wondering what the hell is going on, then spinning around furiously, as after the rage fits the love bombing started. I absolutely had the time of my life for almost a year until this completely insane behaviour appeared out of nowhere. No accountability, never an apology, no empathy. It was an horrific experience and honestly I am only now just recovering from it all, hence another reason that almost a year has gone by. I just couldn’t in all honesty bring myself to write. It has honestly been one of the biggest disappointments of my life….so life in Italy isn’t all “Under the Tuscan Sun” in case anyone was under that false illusion of a happy RomCom ending, but despite all that I have revealed (which is really only the tip of the iceberg) I am ok now. I have had no choice but to accept that I clearly have some really strange karma to purify and get on with my life ….and I am glad to report that I am enjoying life again…far far away from the my pet narcissist.
So, while visiting Heather in the UK I took the opportunity to renew my UK license as a law came in in Italy that it was possible to swap your British license for an Italian one rather than sit the dreaded Patente written test which is all in Italian. So, with my UK drivers license in hand I happily popped around the corner to get the process underway, only once again to be whacked in the side of the head by the most illogical Italian bureacratic grrrr. and to be turned down, as back in 1998 I had swapped my Canadian drivers license for a UK one and as Italy does not have a reciprocal arrangement with Canada I cannot do it….. but I’ve been allowed to drive in the UK and Europe for the last 26 years?????, That does not count! So guess what, I am now having to study furiously for the Patente written test, a test even fluent Italians fail umpteen times as it is full of trick questions. The Patente test clearly does not help anyone with the rules of the road because as I have mentioned in previous posts I have never seen such crazy driving and parking in my life as I have in Italy! So, I really need to hit the books and I drive myself to driving school twice a week, to learn how to drive!! Its totally mental.
Well, that is the year in a snapshot..oh my mum also recently decided to return to Italy and has bought her own apartment nearby but more on that as I catch you up on everything over the last 4 months. Thank you for listening/reading. Thank you for your patience and understanding . Love, always, Zadia